Waiting for you

Waiting for you

Friday, June 9, 2017

What's next? Embassy trip, coming home, and cocooning

This post has taken a drastically different turn!  I thought I would be writing about how we still didn't really know anything and would be continuing our wait while things get worked out in Ethiopia... but GOD... He has made everything beautiful in its time... Ecc 3:11a   It would have been beautiful no matter how or when it happened, but here's how it went...

Last Friday, I was at the lake with a friend (because of course the Lord would not have me be alone for this) when our ISC called to talk about what they knew about the delays in international adoption.  She told me that MOWCA had agreed to issue the vital letters for cases processed before the suspension on April 25th but would not commit to anything for those done after the suspension.  Our adoption was finalized on May 2.  I asked her what this meant for us, and she said that the Embassy was pushing hard and that the agency was doing everything they could to advocate for us, but ultimately nothing could happen without the letter from MOWCA or the process for immigration changed, so we may be in for a long wait....  She also told me that there are about 200 families affected by the suspension - this doesn't even account for families with approved dossiers still waiting for referrals.  My heart was sad, but I was able to process all this with my friend who reminded me that God has this, none of it is a surprise to Him, and that we are blessed in our waiting.  So, I was encouraged and together we talked about all the positive things that had happened in our wait so far... from big things like being able to care for Nanny in her last months (that couldn't have happened if I had a new child home) to seemingly small things like being able to attend my kids' end of year awards and having pool and lake time the first days of summer, which has never happened before because I always had teacher work days!  God is so good to give me these times and this perspective!

That was FRIDAY... On Tuesday, which happened to be Jude's birthday, we received notice that Kidus's vital letter was in process!!!!!  Jude said that was the best birthday present ever!  The expectation was that all the necessary paperwork could be received today or Monday, and then we would discuss travel plans.... Even with all the could's and maybe's and knowing how things can change unexpectedly in Ethiopia, we were ecstatic!!!! Then yesterday, we got THE CALL!!!!!  Our local social worker called to check in and say that there was no news yet but she wanted to touch base and talk about what would happen next.  She ended the conversation by saying, "I am praying with you that we know something soon!"  This phone call ended after the Ethiopia office had closed for the day, so we expected to hear nothing more until today, BUT less than 5 minutes after we hung up, our ISC called to say that the Ethiopia office was working late and had Kidus's paperwork, and we could book our plane tickets to bring our son home!!!!

Today I have booked our plane tickets (we leave next Thursday morning), made the appointments for our first home visit, Kidus's first pediatrician appointment, and his appointment at the International Adoption Clinic at MUSC!  THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING!!! :)

So, when we arrive in Ethiopia, we will get to go get Kidus!  The orphanage will have a goodbye ceremony for him and will present us with a lifebook for him.  I know this will probably be one of our hardest moments in Ethiopia.  We know that it is ultimately for his good, but we will be taking our son from the only family he has had.  Please pray with us for the Lord to prepare his heart.  Pray for us to be able to sit with him in his grief and to comfort him as he learns to know and trust us as his parents.  After the ceremony, he will stay with us at the guesthouse. We will be there until our Embassy appointment for the visa exit interview.  As soon as this is done, we can come HOME!

For the trip home, please pray that Kidus handles the airplane okay... that the Lord would give us creativity in entertaining him and grace in communication; pray that we may also rest some. :)  When we arrive at the airport, our kids will get to meet their brother that they have been waiting and praying over for the last 6 years! (Last night as Asher was praying he said, "...and please bring Kidus home soon - WAIT!  Thank you God for answering ALL of our prayers.  He IS coming home soon!") We cannot wait for this sweet moment when they will see him face-to-face!

Then we cocoon. . . .   So, what does this look like?  The purpose of cocooning is to teach a child who has never known a mom and dad what those words mean.  For the first several weeks home, we will not leave our home, and we cannot have guests.  Having lived in a wonderful, loving institution, Kidus has likely learned that all adults are his caregivers. He loves them all equally and is indiscriminate in his affection.  He is used to nannies coming and going with different shift changes and some leaving for new jobs never to return.  While we are so glad that he is a happy and affectionate boy, we need to teach him that a mom and dad don't leave, and that his affection for and trust of us is different from other adults.  This period of time largely depends on Kidus, but it typically takes 6-8 weeks and can take up to 6 months.  Please pray for our family during this time.  We expect that Kidus will attach to the kids very quickly.  We pray for this to be true.  Our social worker will come visit once he has been home for a month to assess how well he seems to be attaching to us.  She will guide us in when and how to expand our cocoon.  What this will most likely look like is that first Chann will go back to work, and I will start to take him with me on very short outings - like to the grocery store or a typically uncrowded park.  If he does well with this, then we can start to have small groups of people over for short time periods.  Once he adjusts to this, then we will finally be able to go back to church, which we will miss so badly!

Again, we covet your prayers during this process, and we pray that it goes more smoothly and quickly than we imagine, but we know that however long it takes, this is what is best for Kidus.  Most of you reading this will know that staying at home is not easy for me...  I love to GO and to be around my people!!!  Most of you also know that we are blessed with a close family and have "Family Night" every Thursday night where Chann's parents and all of our siblings and their families come over for dinner.  It will be so hard to not have this for a while, probably especially for all the kids involved.  Please pray for them to have understanding that passes their years!

Dear, dear friends and family, we KNOW that you have walked this LONG journey with us and that you long to meet Kidus and love on him, too.  Jayden even said, "Mom, I think we need to just call cocooning 'quarantine' because that's what it will feel like!  Our friends and family have been waiting for him for 6 years, too."  Please know that we know and FEEL this.  We will feel your absence during this time. So, what CAN you do during our cocooning phase?  First and foremost, pray!!!  Secondly, there are very practical things that we will need: meals, grocery pick-ups, sitters when Kidus has doctor's appointments, playdates for Jayden, Asher, Jude, and Evy (they don't have to stay at the house as long as Chann and I do.)  I'm sure we will think of more things as we enter and live through this phase.  Please keep in touch with us through text and email!  Don't think that just because we can't see you or may not answer texts and emails as quickly as is normal for us that we don't need and want to hear from you!  Ask us how it's going, what we need, and when we don't know, just offer! :)  We are so, so excited to finally be at this point, and we wouldn't be here without Jesus and without you! :)


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