#lovefromizzy

Last week a good friend of mine had to say goodbye to her daughter.  This mom has been such a picture of God's love, strength, and grace to me over the years I have known her. Not only did she love and serve her daughter well - giving more and more of herself daily to meet her family's needs, she also continually loves and serves her community.  She has provided trainings at the preschool where I work.  She has spoken at adoption conferences and poured into adoptive moms.  At Izzy's funeral, she talked about the idea of pouring yourself out instead of trying to fill yourself up.  That is where you find fullness, because that is where you find Christ.

As I sat at Izzy's funeral on Saturday, the grief filling the room was almost a physical weight, but there was also such hope and joy in the midst of the pain.  We laughed as the people closest to Izzy shared stories, and we cried as they spoke words of love into one another.

This Holy week as I think about the life of Christ, I see an earthly example in Izzy.  She loved with her whole heart, endured more suffering than most - with a smile on her face.  She was gentle and kind, a blessing to all who knew her.  As a mom, I wrestle with the thought that her life was much too short, and yet I know that the Lord has numbered all of our days and has plans for all of our lives.  I want to shout that it's unfair, and yet I know that my God is just and his wisdom is incomprehensible to me.  The pastor's words at the service about suffering and the sermon at my church on Sunday were both a comfort and a challenge.  We are all called to suffer if we claim to love Jesus, because he did.  He took on more suffering than we will ever know.  And at just the right time, he said, "It is finished."  His physical suffering was finished, never to be endured again.  Izzy's physical pain is done.  Her last breath on earth was her first breath in the arms of her Savior.  She suffers no more.  When he said, "It is finished," it also meant that his mission was complete.  He had accomplished the plans the Father set out for him.  At the funeral, Izzy's dad talked about her mission of love.  He told the sweetest story of a little angelic Izzy accepting a difficult mission from God to come to earth to teach those around her how to love.  She completed her mission, leaving behind a legacy of love.

Izzy's family has challenged us to keep that legacy of love going.  Choose kindness and show love.  Izzy's family would like to see your acts of kindness on social media using #lovefromizzy.  So many great things have already been shared.  Here's one small way you can contribute.

Nesting!

First, THANK YOU!  We have been blown away by your generosity and God's provision.  In ONE WEEK, we have almost reached half of our goal!  Please keep sharing and praying with us that the rest will come in before we travel.

This week we also began preparing a room for our sweet boy!  It's not all the way done yet, but here are some sneak peeks.  A whole lot of love has gone into this room already....  First, Gamma and Papa gave us a bedding and decoration budget. :) We used the cute little orange and blue elephant that was handmade in Africa for inspiration.  We moved Evy into Jayden's room, and Chann painted the room blue.  The dresser was Chann's when he was growing up.  We had painted it white for Jayden when she was born.  This weekend Chann and Evy sanded the white off, and now it's being stained for a new look for Kidus's room.  Jude helped me set up the tee-pee, and both Jude and Asher brought in toys and put them in place.  Jayden helped frame the photos, and I made a few prints for his nightstand.  Jayden had bought the tiny wooden safari animals for Kidus over a year ago, so she was excited to finally put those in his room!  The vintage map of Africa is from a friend when we first began the adoption process.  Finally, my amazing brother made the awesome headboard and delivered and set it up tonight!  We just have a few things left to do for the room to be completely ready for our SON! It has been so exciting to see all these things come together so quickly to make a welcoming space for Kidus.  We hope and pray that we will get a travel date by the end of this week. We cannot wait to get our boy home with us!

NEWS, Introduction, An Ask and a BIG Thanks!

It's time you knew...we have exciting news!

We are so excited to tell you that the time has FINALLY come to prepare to bring home our SON - all we are waiting for is our official travel date!  Earlier this week we received news that we passed the final approval stage in Ethiopia and we should be given our travel date within the NEXT TWO WEEKS! Many of you know that this journey began in our hearts so long ago when I went to China as a college student.  Soon after Chann and I were married, we knew that the Lord had called us to adopt so we began researching how to start the process only to learn that we were too young, and I was pregnant!  Six years ago (and 4 children later), we knew that it was definitely time to start the process.  The Lord clearly led us to the country of Ethiopia where we thought we would adopt older siblings.  As His plans are always the best, and usually different from ours, we were eventually led to our son, Kidus.  We have SO MANY AMAZING stories we love to tell about the ways that God has confirmed this call and led us to this precious boy, but it would take pages to tell it all here- so instead I'll just tell some sweet things about our SON!!!

The youngest Carroll is our son, Kidus!  

I wish I could show you his precious face but we are unable to show him on our blog until our official court date once we are in Ethiopia... trust me though- he's a heart-breaker for sure! Kidus is 4 years old and he loves Duplo blocks.  He also loves to play with baby dolls. He is also a big soccer fan, just like his big brothers Asher and Jude!  Kidus is meeting all of his developmental milestones except for speech- but even in that area he is improving!  He is beginning to learn English and can already say the words: “Mommy,” “beep, beep”  (for car), “bread,” “ball,” “out,” and “TV.”  We can't wait to get our arms around this precious boy!

The FINAL piece...

As we await our travel date, we are kicking off our FINAL fundraiser!  Every single step of the way, God has provided exactly what we needed through generous grants and donations.  We fully expect His provision for this FINAL step as well- even though the amount seems staggering.  We still need between $15,925 - $21,915 to complete this adoption.  (The amount is so varied because it depends on the number of trips we have to make and the amount of time we have to stay in Ethiopia.)

So, fully trusting that our Lord will provide, in honor of our boy's love of Duplo blocks, we are asking our friends and family (and anyone else willing!) to help us PIECE together the final funds we need.  

We humbly ask that you would consider supporting us in this final step.  To donate, please click on the donate button on the right of our blog to give your secure donation via PayPal. Or, if you have a few extra minutes, you can log into https://www.paypal.com/ directly, and choose to send money to friend/family and type in our email address channfm@gmail.com.  (This way helps avoid fees.)  Either way you choose to give we say THANK YOU!

And Speaking of Thanks...

Finally, we want to say Thank You to all of you reading this blog for your love and support over the last 6 years.  Our journey has been long, much longer than we ever anticipated.  And yet, we know the Lord has used this time for His glory and for our good.  Our desire during these years of waiting has been to bring God honor in the good days and the bad by trusting in His Sovereignty and Providence.  We pray that He alone would receive all the glory for the great things He has done in our family.  And we want to thank you, friends and family, for faithfully walking this journey with us.    We cannot wait to hold our SON and to one day tell him about the community that rallied around our family to bring him home.  

We love you all!

We MIGHT be almost there!

It's been quite a long time since I updated here!  We had a long period of NOTHING happening, so there was nothing to post!  One year ago today we received a referral for a little boy we saw on the waiting child list a year before that.  We inquired about him then, but his referral had been picked up by someone else....  We prayed for him, thankful that he had found a family and continued waiting.  However, he stayed in my heart....  Fast forward to last year, March 15th.  We had a conference call to learn more about the ongoing delays and revisions to the process.  We had been asked to pray about changing countries a few months before, but we did not hear the Lord tell us to go.  We continued to believe that our children were somewhere in Ethiopia even though things were continuing to be slow and continuing to change in ways that did not seem like adoption from Ethiopia could be a possibility for our family.  That day, as I was listening to the conference call, I clicked on to the waiting child list to pray for kids while I listened... the little boy's photo listing was back and had just been added that day!  I quickly sent Chann a text, and we asked about him...  The next day we received his information...  Here we are one year later, and it looks like we MIGHT be almost there!  We have learned that our case file is in the very last stage before we receive a court date and travel plans!  Please join us in praying that our case is given a positive recommendation and that we receive our court date soon!  We long for this little guy to join our family, and we can't wait to tell you all about him!  As we wait on our travel date, we are preparing our support letter.  We still need to raise $15, 000-$20,000 depending on the number of trips we have to make and the amount of time we spend in country.  We should know those details soon.  If you would like to support our family with a donation, please click the donate link on this page.  Whether you can support us financially or not, we covet your prayers for the rest of the process to go smoothly, for the Lord to prepare this little guy to be in our family, and for continued preparations for us and our children.  Hopefully I will be able to update again soon!

The Joys of Fundraising

Fundraising is not all that FUN!  There are definitely parts that are fun, but, let's just face it, mostly it's a lot of hard work!  This weekend we are hosting an online auction to raise funds for our adoptions.  We have been overwhelmed with donations!  We are SO grateful for the 109 items that were given to us to be auctioned!  (www.CarrollFamily.webstore.com)  To all our donors, we are thankful beyond words!

So, why fundraise?  I'll start with the obvious: we don't have the funds needed to adopt two children from Ethiopia!  Yet, we know without a doubt we have been called to this (see how we were called here).  So, we are faced with two options, take out a loan or rely on the Lord to provide through grants, donations, and fundraising.  Here are a few reasons we chose the latter.
1. We believe that the Lord calls us to live without debt.  Obviously, we have some debt, but we are striving to eliminate debt and not to add to it.  (One could definitely argue that adoptions warrant borrowing money.  My purpose is in NO WAY to say that people should not fund their adoptions by loans, and the truth is that we may come to that point in the end as well.  However, we believe that should not personally be our first line of action.)
2.  Fundraising allows others to join us in our call to adopt.  The Lord may not call you to add to your family, but we believe that throughout scripture He does call ALL believers to support orphans in one way or another.  This could be YOUR way!
3.  Not taking out a loan forces us to depend on the Lord in a way that challenges my need for control.  Whew!   I said it!  I have a need to control things - think that's why I'm a teacher?? :)  The entire adoption process challenges my need for control, but specifically in the financial area.  I grew up always hearing about my parent's money problems and always knowing there was never enough money, so I have a NEED to know that the finances are THERE for things.  HAHAHA!  Boy has the Lord worked on that area of control in my adult life.  More than ANYTHING else He has taught me over the last 12 years, He has taught me that He ALONE is my JEHOVAH-JIRAH - "The Lord is our provider."

The Lord is GOOD, and He will provide for ALL of my needs, including this crazy amount needed to bring home our children.  To date, He has given us almost $14,000!  What an encouragement and an ebenezer to remind us that He will continue to provide!  So, in that light, fundraising IS a joy!  Despite the hard work, there is joy in fundraising because the Lord uses it to involve others and to provide!

If the Lord calls you to join us in our adoption journey, you can make donations by clicking the DONATE button on our page, or you can give directly to Bethany Christian Services in our name, so that your donation can be tax-deductible.  (Email for details:kylienchann@gmail.com)  Or, this weekend, you can SHOP!  Check it all 109 items at www.CarrollFamily.webstore.com!

So...I'm no good at this! (and I say "so" a lot!!!)

Time to face the facts... I am not a blogger!  It's almost shameful that I haven't updated since November!  Oh well!  I think it's fair to say that I will most likely only post when there are updates! :)  I have considered turning it into more of a family blog, but I want to stay true to focusing on the adoptions.

That being said. . . it has been a little over six months since we received word that our dossier had been received and accepted in Ethiopia.  We were also told at that point (late December) that it would more than likely be 2-3 years before we received a referral due to the fact that we were looking at younger siblings.  Of course that was disheartening, but I told myself that I was okay with it and was trusting in God's timing.  The truth is, that was really hard to hear.  It hurt!  My heart physically ached for my future children.  But, in a moment of quiet with my Lord, I really heard him tell me to enjoy the time with the four that I have, to really enjoy it and live in the moment, not to lose sight of right now by longing for the future.  So... it took a while, even though I had been hearing it for a while, but I was finally able to let go and allow the Holy Spirit to let me rest in right now!  I have really, truly been enjoying my 4 current blessings!  It has been so evident that this time is for them, to pour my love into them, to make them be secure in my love for them, to cherish these moments, so that when two more come, who have different needs . . . the current children can remember these times, feel secure, and know that they are truly loved and valued and cherished!  (Not that they weren't before, but the youngest ones weren't yet old enough to have a storehouse of memories.)  It has been awesome - especially our summer together so far! 

So, though adoption is always close to my heart, even at my favorite conference for adoptive mommies, Created for Care, it has felt distant.  We were recently snapped back into the reality that only the Father knows how our days are ordained.  We got our first, sort-of-referral!  We received a message that there was a sibling set on the waiting child list, and if we were interested, we could get more information.  Interested?!  Of course, we are!!!!  The siblings were a boy and girl, ages 5 and 6.  We weren't quite prepared for the amount of information we received, though!  In addition to the expected medical and family history, we got tons of photos and videos!  Talk about melting my heart!  We prayed over these children for about a week.  We didn't have a lot of time because several other families were also interested.  Neither of us had a clear sense of yes or no.  We didn't want to romanticize the moment thinking that we should look at them and hear their little voices and think or hear, "That's them!  Those are our children!"  (Though we have heard that is how it happens for some!)  We also didn't want to ignore it just because we didn't have those thoughts or feelings.  We just didn't know what it was supposed to feel like.  But, as much as we didn't want to just say no because of a lack of a definite yes... we also didn't want to say no.  The more we talked and prayed, though, we both were convinced that these particular children would probably be the best fit for a family with no other children.  Especially after watching those videos (one in which the little boy runs toward the camera and says "Mommy" - now, I know that he is talking to whomever is holding the camera, but don't tell me that every potential mom who watched that video didn't think he was calling her, too!!!), it was sad to say no, but it also felt right.  Even though it was a no, there were two really encouraging thoughts.... 1- The truth that our children are out there was made really real!!!  2- The Lord knows the time.  It could really be 2-3 years, or more, or it could be tomorrow!  And, He will guide us and direct us to know them, too!  (Ok, that's 3...)

All of this has gotten us into fund-raising mode again.  As much as we both hate it, we know that it is a necessary means to bring our children home!  So...here we go!  We would like to try to do an online auction!  If you have an auction-worthy items that you can get, make, or have, and would like to donate them, please contact us at kylienchann@gmail.com.  All kinds of things make great auction items... jewelry, handbags, ANYTHING handmade (not so subtle hint to all my crafty friends!!!), a weekend at your vacation home or timeshare, gift cards, themed baskets, your time for babysitting, organizing, any new or mint condition items you may already own - think recreational equipment..... The options are pretty limitless....  If you don't have items or don't feel particularly crafty, we can still use your help!  We would love for people to help us go to local businesses to ask for donations, help with collecting and delivering local items will be needed.  Out of town friends who wish to craft or donate... don't count yourselves out!  We have some ideas of how your donations can be in our auction as well.  Please just contact us if you are interested in helping in any way!  My hope is to have an idea of the items we will get by the end of July and then start getting photos the first two weeks in August before school starts back.  The actual time of the auction is flexible, so you crafty people have plenty of time to make plenty of things (another shamelessly "un-subtle" hint!)...  So, we'll take it from there!  Please share with your friends!!
Much love!

WOW!

Again, needless to say, school and being a mom of 4 is not conducive to blogging!  Since September (WOW! Didn't know it had been that long!!) we have actually made a lot of progress and have a few significant things to talk about!

1. We were awarded a grant in the FULL AMOUNT of the cost to submit our dossier!

2. We finalized all the outstanding paperwork, amidst many ridiculous obstacles, and finally submitted our dossier on November 6th.

3. And here's the big WOW! . . . I received this message tonight: "Good news! Your dossier is back from Washington, D.C. and has been authenticated by the Department of State and the Ethiopian Embassy. It is being sent to Ethiopia this Friday via our weekly DHL shipment. Once our team in Ethiopia receives your dossier, they will work on the next steps of authenticating and registering your dossier. This process typically takes about two months. The next stage of the process may be the most difficult one yet – which is the wait for your referral."

So, now my thoughts and the things God has spoken to me during these events:

1.  He really DOES provide.  The grant that we were awarded was one of four for which we applied.  It was by far the easiest application - we simply wrote a letter to the Kay Foundation.  In the process, I was able to talk to the founder, a lady who had several biological children and then adopted siblings.  She gave me some really good advice and spoke with wisdom and experience.  When I asked how old her children are now, she said, "Well, I'm pretty sure the youngest is 52 now!"  :)  It was a delightful conversation and gave me so much hope for our future!

2.  I won't go into all the ridiculous details, because you would not believe the trouble we had obtaining some of the simplest documents!!!!  More than once people commented, most from a place of frustration for and with us, things like: "Why is it so difficult?"  "Why is it so expensive - what are you paying for?"  "You would think it would be easier to give children a home." "They are just making you jump through hoops!"  One particular set of comments was not from an attempt to empathize with us, and praise the Lord that He who is in Me is greater than my flesh!!  The comments were biting and brought me to tears, but only by the Holy Spirit in me, I was able to respond in grace and walk away.  Later as I dealt with my own anger and frustration, I thought of all kinds of things I could have said (from my flesh - glad I didn't say those things! and more direct responses, still with grace, that could have pointed this person to Christ).  I realized that even through this the Lord is speaking to me, teaching me, refining me.  A thought that has continued to linger . . . Yes, I do feel like, at times, I am jumping through hoops.  However, God loved me so much that He sent his Son to DIE for my adoption; who am I to complain that I have to do a few tedious and seemingly ridiculous things in order to adopt my children?  As I write, I realize that same thought applies to my waiting, to my lack of control, to the expense . . . to any setback we may come through.  . . . . Those are the sacrifices God is asking us to make as He in His perfect timing is orchestrating EVERYTHING for the good of our family and for HIS glory!  And the part that is SO cool, He doesn't ask me to make these sacrifices in my own strength.  I just have to acknowledge my weakness and surrender to Him, trust Him - not just in word, but in deed, and He WILL carry me through.  He has given me the gift of His Spirit in me to be my Help, my Comfort, my Counselor, my Shield and Defender.  He is EVERYTHING that I will EVER need.  I do not need to control anything.  I don't need to know when we will get a referral.  I don't need to be worried that our children are suffering while we wait.  I just need to trust that My God is big enough, bigger than I can imagine, and that He loves me and my family.  He is drawing me nearer to Him and teaching me.  He is making my family ready for new children/siblings.  He is making them ready for us.  He has a perfect plan for us and will reveal it to us in His time. WOW!

3.  SO, tonight we celebrate that we are one step closer to meeting our children.  We are praying that the Holy Spirit would continue to empower us as we wait.  We pray that we would be moldable, that we would be compliant to His leading, that we would treasure this time of being made ready for things we can't even imagine.  We pray that the Lord would prepare our children, both biological and adopted, for all the changes that are coming.  We pray that He would protect our family.  We pray for the biological family of our children.  We pray for our children's health and spiritual well-being.  We pray for their care-takers.  We pray for the "system."  We are thankful that the Spirit intercedes and groans for us when we don't know what to pray.  We serve a great and mighty God.  Tonight I am humbled and grateful and expectant!