Waiting for you

Waiting for you

Friday, June 9, 2017

What's next? Embassy trip, coming home, and cocooning

This post has taken a drastically different turn!  I thought I would be writing about how we still didn't really know anything and would be continuing our wait while things get worked out in Ethiopia... but GOD... He has made everything beautiful in its time... Ecc 3:11a   It would have been beautiful no matter how or when it happened, but here's how it went...

Last Friday, I was at the lake with a friend (because of course the Lord would not have me be alone for this) when our ISC called to talk about what they knew about the delays in international adoption.  She told me that MOWCA had agreed to issue the vital letters for cases processed before the suspension on April 25th but would not commit to anything for those done after the suspension.  Our adoption was finalized on May 2.  I asked her what this meant for us, and she said that the Embassy was pushing hard and that the agency was doing everything they could to advocate for us, but ultimately nothing could happen without the letter from MOWCA or the process for immigration changed, so we may be in for a long wait....  She also told me that there are about 200 families affected by the suspension - this doesn't even account for families with approved dossiers still waiting for referrals.  My heart was sad, but I was able to process all this with my friend who reminded me that God has this, none of it is a surprise to Him, and that we are blessed in our waiting.  So, I was encouraged and together we talked about all the positive things that had happened in our wait so far... from big things like being able to care for Nanny in her last months (that couldn't have happened if I had a new child home) to seemingly small things like being able to attend my kids' end of year awards and having pool and lake time the first days of summer, which has never happened before because I always had teacher work days!  God is so good to give me these times and this perspective!

That was FRIDAY... On Tuesday, which happened to be Jude's birthday, we received notice that Kidus's vital letter was in process!!!!!  Jude said that was the best birthday present ever!  The expectation was that all the necessary paperwork could be received today or Monday, and then we would discuss travel plans.... Even with all the could's and maybe's and knowing how things can change unexpectedly in Ethiopia, we were ecstatic!!!! Then yesterday, we got THE CALL!!!!!  Our local social worker called to check in and say that there was no news yet but she wanted to touch base and talk about what would happen next.  She ended the conversation by saying, "I am praying with you that we know something soon!"  This phone call ended after the Ethiopia office had closed for the day, so we expected to hear nothing more until today, BUT less than 5 minutes after we hung up, our ISC called to say that the Ethiopia office was working late and had Kidus's paperwork, and we could book our plane tickets to bring our son home!!!!

Today I have booked our plane tickets (we leave next Thursday morning), made the appointments for our first home visit, Kidus's first pediatrician appointment, and his appointment at the International Adoption Clinic at MUSC!  THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING!!! :)

So, when we arrive in Ethiopia, we will get to go get Kidus!  The orphanage will have a goodbye ceremony for him and will present us with a lifebook for him.  I know this will probably be one of our hardest moments in Ethiopia.  We know that it is ultimately for his good, but we will be taking our son from the only family he has had.  Please pray with us for the Lord to prepare his heart.  Pray for us to be able to sit with him in his grief and to comfort him as he learns to know and trust us as his parents.  After the ceremony, he will stay with us at the guesthouse. We will be there until our Embassy appointment for the visa exit interview.  As soon as this is done, we can come HOME!

For the trip home, please pray that Kidus handles the airplane okay... that the Lord would give us creativity in entertaining him and grace in communication; pray that we may also rest some. :)  When we arrive at the airport, our kids will get to meet their brother that they have been waiting and praying over for the last 6 years! (Last night as Asher was praying he said, "...and please bring Kidus home soon - WAIT!  Thank you God for answering ALL of our prayers.  He IS coming home soon!") We cannot wait for this sweet moment when they will see him face-to-face!

Then we cocoon. . . .   So, what does this look like?  The purpose of cocooning is to teach a child who has never known a mom and dad what those words mean.  For the first several weeks home, we will not leave our home, and we cannot have guests.  Having lived in a wonderful, loving institution, Kidus has likely learned that all adults are his caregivers. He loves them all equally and is indiscriminate in his affection.  He is used to nannies coming and going with different shift changes and some leaving for new jobs never to return.  While we are so glad that he is a happy and affectionate boy, we need to teach him that a mom and dad don't leave, and that his affection for and trust of us is different from other adults.  This period of time largely depends on Kidus, but it typically takes 6-8 weeks and can take up to 6 months.  Please pray for our family during this time.  We expect that Kidus will attach to the kids very quickly.  We pray for this to be true.  Our social worker will come visit once he has been home for a month to assess how well he seems to be attaching to us.  She will guide us in when and how to expand our cocoon.  What this will most likely look like is that first Chann will go back to work, and I will start to take him with me on very short outings - like to the grocery store or a typically uncrowded park.  If he does well with this, then we can start to have small groups of people over for short time periods.  Once he adjusts to this, then we will finally be able to go back to church, which we will miss so badly!

Again, we covet your prayers during this process, and we pray that it goes more smoothly and quickly than we imagine, but we know that however long it takes, this is what is best for Kidus.  Most of you reading this will know that staying at home is not easy for me...  I love to GO and to be around my people!!!  Most of you also know that we are blessed with a close family and have "Family Night" every Thursday night where Chann's parents and all of our siblings and their families come over for dinner.  It will be so hard to not have this for a while, probably especially for all the kids involved.  Please pray for them to have understanding that passes their years!

Dear, dear friends and family, we KNOW that you have walked this LONG journey with us and that you long to meet Kidus and love on him, too.  Jayden even said, "Mom, I think we need to just call cocooning 'quarantine' because that's what it will feel like!  Our friends and family have been waiting for him for 6 years, too."  Please know that we know and FEEL this.  We will feel your absence during this time. So, what CAN you do during our cocooning phase?  First and foremost, pray!!!  Secondly, there are very practical things that we will need: meals, grocery pick-ups, sitters when Kidus has doctor's appointments, playdates for Jayden, Asher, Jude, and Evy (they don't have to stay at the house as long as Chann and I do.)  I'm sure we will think of more things as we enter and live through this phase.  Please keep in touch with us through text and email!  Don't think that just because we can't see you or may not answer texts and emails as quickly as is normal for us that we don't need and want to hear from you!  Ask us how it's going, what we need, and when we don't know, just offer! :)  We are so, so excited to finally be at this point, and we wouldn't be here without Jesus and without you! :)


Monday, June 5, 2017

Our court trip April 27- May 5, 2017

It's taken me quite a while to adjust to being back home, especially since we are home with no timeline for going back....  but I'll write about that in the next post.  Here are some of the highlights of our time in Ethiopia.

Thursday, April 27: We arrived in Addis Ababa around 7:30am local time.  By the time we got our luggage, exchanged money, and got through customs, it was almost 8:30.  Our family services provider, Menge, met us outside of the airport and took us to the guest house to rest.  He told us we would get to meet Kidus for the first time THAT DAY!

The Morning Coffee Guesthouse was not where we were "supposed" to stay, but since our trip came on such short notice, the guest house at which we had intended to stay was booked.  This was such a blessing.  Our hostess, Birtukan, was such an inspiration! ... We arrived at the beautiful guest house and crashed!  Then we woke up to prayers over loud speakers outside.  The guest house is between an Orthodox church and a mosque.  They both have prayers at the same times and go back and forth.  We got up and had an amazing lunch of spicy spaghetti - one of our favorite meals of the whole trip, and one I have learned to make, thanks to the berbere spices I bought!

After lunch, we met Kidus's social worker Senait - what a sweet and gentle soul!  She took us to the Tikuret Orphanage to meet Kidus.  When we arrived, the older kids were just waking up from their naps and getting baths, so we got to go to the baby room to play with and hold the babies!  From there, Senait took us to meet Kidus and the boys in his group.  All the boys were so excited to see us, and one of the older boys quickly told Kidus we were his parents - he had seen our photos in the album we sent!  Kidus quickly attached to Chann.  It was such a beautiful, somewhat surreal scene....  This little guy that we have waited for and prayed over grabbing the hand of his Daddy and sitting in his lap.  The joy is almost indescribable! ... We played with bubbles for a long time, and then took the boys out to the courtyard to play.









We went back to the guest house and went to the rooftop to read and rest.  The view was amazing!  The city and mountains were all around us.





Friday, April 28: The next day we went to the Bethany Office where we got to share our whole adoption story with Senait.  She told us that she, too, hopes to adopt one day.  Menge took us to do some sight seeing.  We went to Mount Entoto, the highest peak overlook Addis, where Emperor Menelik II built his palace and a church.  The mountain is covered in eucalyptus trees, so the smell is amazing.  We passed many women and donkeys going up and down the mountain carrying loads of wood to sell.  When we got back to the Bethany office, we met our attorney Tesfahun.  He prepped us for court by going over all the possible questions the judge could ask us.  This made it all feel so real and so close!!  We had lunch with another family and their little boy, then went back to the guest house to rest.  At the guest house we got to know the only other guest there at the time, Lorenzo.  He is a recent college graduate and is in Ethiopia working for one of his professors as a research scientist to try to find easy and cost-efficient ways to determine high risk pregnancies in women who live in the villages and don't want to deliver in a hospital.  Such a neat guy with a wonderful story and heart for the Lord!

Saturday, April 29: Senait came to take us back to Tikuret to visit with Kidus.  On this visit, the nannies brought Kidus and three of his good friends (Tinsae, Besu, and Binyamin) down so we could see him in a smaller setting.  Immediately Kidus ran to Chann.  Two little boys that came with him are also being pursued by Bethany families.  The younger brother, Besu, and Kidus are best friends.  We talked to the family before we left and were able to get some photos and video of their boys for them.  We hope that when we all get home to be able to visit so these boys can stay in touch!  The older brother, Tinsae, told Chann how much he loves Kidus.  I got to feed Kidus his lunch this day.  He had injera with carrots and potatoes and ate every bite!  The youngest child in the group, Binyamin, had just turned 3.  Tinsae showed us his birthday photo on the wall.  He was such a happy little guy.  He kept grabbing my hand and showing me the things he was drawing.  Too soon we had to say goodbye so the boys could nap.  Senait took us out for lunch and told us a little about her story.  She met her husband in college through campus ministries.  He is a youth pastor, and they just recently had their first child.  She was telling us that her dad had recently had a stroke and did not know the Lord.  Even in this difficult circumstance, she could see the Lord's hand.  While in the hospital, her husband was able to read scripture over her dad and pray for him.  We also prayed for him and that the Lord would draw him close.  It was such a special time.  We feel so blessed that this Godly woman will be visiting with Kidus in our absence and preparing him to be a part of our family.

We went back to the guest house and hung out with Lorenzo for a little while.   Then a new guest came in from Langano, Ethiopia.  He works for SIM doing sports ministries.  We had dinner together, and he told us all about his ministry and life.

Sunday, April 30: We got to worship at the International Evangelical Church.  I don't know that I can adequately describe the feeling of walking into a church in another continent where EVERYTHING is foreign, but the moment you enter the church, you know that you belong . . . because Jesus!  Mostly I just cried the whole time.  Not sad tears, just overwhelmed, Spirit-filled tears.  It was Mission Sunday there, so we got to hear several missionaries talk about their ministries and God's call on their lives.  Before we walked into the church, in the parking lot, I noticed one particular family with a son who appeared to have special needs.  They were one of the missionary families.  They talked about their son and how God had used his life to open their eyes to the need for education and ministries for families of children with special needs right there in Addis.  They have a daycare for children with special needs and reach out to new moms of children with special needs.  This is pretty much unheard of in Ethiopia.  I got to talk to them for just a little while after the service.  It was such an encouragement and a blessing.

After lunch Menge took us to meet the street boys to whom he ministers and feeds.  The next day was a holiday, so we planned to come back and play soccer with them.

While we were gone, two more guests arrived.  Shelley, who is hoping to adopt two young children from a different orphanage, and Corey, who is hoping to adopt a little boy who desperately needs heart surgery.  Both came in faith, without court appointments, to visit their kids and advocate for them.  We loved meeting them and hearing their stories, getting to pray for them as they awaited news, met their kids, and worked through all the legalities of getting court dates.

Monday, May 1: First we went to tour the Holy Trinity Church, a big, beautiful cathedral with amazing stained glass windows.  Then we got to take a new soccer ball to the street boys.  Chann got to play soccer with them, but I couldn't because it was in the town square and wouldn't be culturally appropriate for a girl in a skirt to play.  These boys are on the streets for numerous reasons, but many are there because of abusive home situations, drug abuse, and violent lifestyles.... but they are little boys, 6-16 years old.  Menge and his friends feed them lunch every day and breakfast most days with no agenda besides loving them where they are.  As they have developed relationships with the boys, they talk about their own lives and love for the Lord.  They talk to them about good decision-making and try to get those who have safe families back home - three boys were reunited with families just recently!  They try to educate and help families that are not yet safe.  They play soccer with them, buy them socks and shoes, they love like Jesus loved.  This was such a humbling day.  As a mom, my heart broke, for the boys who seem so vulnerable yet tough, for their families who have made bad choices or not, who have lost their sons in one way or another.  The boys were so kind to us.  They hugged and took photos, asked us for nothing at all.  When we gave them water after playing soccer, one of the older boys took a bottle and brought it to Chann before letting any of the other boys have any.  Please pray for Menge and his friends as they seek to continue to minister to these boys and to expand their ministry!  Pray for the boys who are hurt, addicted, overlooked, and homeless.


Tuesday, May 2: COURT DAY!!!  We got up early and had breakfast at Kaldi's Coffee!  Then we headed to court.  We waited for what felt like hours, but was really only about 45 minutes.  We went in to see the judge who asked us about our family, how long we had been waiting (and shook his head and said I'm sorry when we answered 6 years), if we had met Kidus, and if we loved him. (Cue tears.)  He asked us if we knew that once he signed the papers that Kidus would become our son, with the same rights and benefits as our biological children, and that the adoption once granted was irrevocable and irreversible - Chann and I were both so overwhelmed with how Biblical this line of questioning was.  Just like we are brothers and co-heirs with Christ, adopted into God's family....  Then, that was it!  He signed the papers, and we were done....  Our attorney said,  "So, six years of waiting is done in three minutes!"  -Oh, how I wish that were completely true!

We then went back to the Bethany office to fill out paperwork for his visa and went to lunch and back to the guest house where we had another amazing dinner and played games with our new friends!

Wednesday, May 3: Got to see Kidus again.  This time it was just him.  It was good to have some time with just him... but halfway through our visit, our buddy Binyamin came.  He had been crying to see us.  He ran out into the courtyard with the biggest smile and arms wide open and came straight to me!  Oh, my heart!  We got to stay a little longer this time.  We played ball in the courtyard and were counting 1, 2, 3 as we threw the ball back and forth.  Kidus started counting with us, holding up his fingers and trying to count in English.  He doesn't talk much, and when he does, his speech is hard to understand, but it was really encouraging to see him watch our mouth and try to mimic the words we said!  Saying goodbye today was a little harder because we knew we only had one more visit before we left.




After leaving the orphanage, we toured the National Museum and saw "Lucy" and lots of Ethiopian artwork.  We ended the day by having dinner at the Cultural Restaurant where we had a traditional dinner of injera, wat, goat, and vegetables.  We got to see dancing and singing from all the various tribes.  It was a lot of fun!

Thursday, May 4: Today we went to get our adoption certificate!  We obtained it on our first try!  While we were there we also got to witness a wedding. :)  We had lunch with the Prince family again and then got to go to A-Hope orphanage with them to say goodbye to their son.  While they said their goodbyes we played with some of the other kids.  It was hard to watch their goodbyes knowing ours would be the next day.  Their little guy cried when they got in the van. :(  Join us in praying that both of our families are reunited soon!

When we got back to the guest house, our host, Birtukan told us her story.  She grew up very poor and basically had no hope for things to change, until she was sponsored!  She talked about how that changed her life, and how she wanted to do nothing more than help other vulnerable children and orphans.  This is obviously the very short version, but God made it possible for her to bring many children into her own home and then eventually open her own ministry for children and to use the guest house to continue to support many children.  She told us not to ever think, "I wish I could do more, sponsoring one child, or adopting one child is not enough. Because of my sponsor, I met Jesus, was given HOPE and a new life, and I have now sponsored or supported over 1,000 children through my ministry!  You never know what God will do with your one child!"  Needless to say, we were in tears and in awe.  Then she sang and worshipped.  It was beautiful!!!!

Friday, May 5:  WE GOT TO MEET MEAZA!!!  Meaza is our "child" that we have sponsored through Compassion International for 13 years.  She is now almost 20 years old!
We started the morning with breakfast, where we shared more of our stories together and said our goodbyes.  Meaza and her mom came to meet us at the guest house.  Birtukan greeted them and gave her the short version of her story, too.  It was incredibly emotional to hear this woman tell our sponsored child that she used to be sponsored, too.  It was so crazy to actually meet this young woman that we have prayed for, written letters to, and supported for most of our adult lives!  Her sister goes to school in Addis and met us for lunch and the rest of our day together.  Their mother told us that they consider us to be much more than sponsors - that they have a family across the world.  Then her sister told us that we had given them hope and been the hands of Jesus.  Then she called her dad who also told us hello and thanked us.  It was humbling, emotional, encouraging, and fulfilling.  We went to a few more places around the city together, and Meaza gave me a purse she had designed and made.  She hopes to be a fashion designer when she finishes college.  Soon, it was time to go.  It was unbelievably hard to watch them go.  Possibly even harder than saying goodbye to Kidus, because we know that we will see him again... Chann said, "It's like watching a piece of my heart walk away."


Finally, Menge took us to say goodbye to Kidus.  He came right to us and hugged us both.  We played with all the boys that we met the very first day for a little while.  Binyamin was particularly clingy and stayed in my lap most of the visit.  When we left, it was a little sad, but not too bad because he didn't cry for us.  We're really not sure how much Kidus understands and are very thankful that perhaps he doesn't quite grasp it.  It would be much harder if he completely understood and thought we were leaving him.



We had a final dinner with Menge and then went to the airport.  It was quite an exhausting day, and it really hit me when it was time to board the plane.

In the next post, I'll write about what we know for what's to come, and how we're doing with all that! Thank you for your support and prayers!!